I have been an absentee blogger for over 2 months! A lot has taken place in the Jones house over the summer. Our little princess turned 6 and the decision was made to send her to public school. A decision that was not made lightly and a decision that has been second guessed numerous times. Public schools suck, I have never had an experience with private schools, so I am going to assume they suck too, but just a little less than public schools. It is clear that Aurora is not going to the same Margaret Scott I grew up in. Everything has changed. The kids have changed, the generation has changed. It is quite scary at times. I bawled every day for a week after I dropped her off at school. I felt like a Mom leaving her child with a pack of wolves. It didn't feel right. I wanted to storm up there and pull her out immediately. I stuck it out and while the feeling has subsided, it is still there. I am realistic, I understand that I won't be able to protect my children from the world. That they need to grow wings and fly, but it just didn't feel like the right timing. I felt pressured by a lot of people to send my little girl to a public school. It's just what kids do right? They are born and at 5 you send them to Kindergarten for someone else to shape and mold them. I disagree. I always disagree with "normal." I want something different for my children. I don't want them to learn how to fit into the status quo, or become the status quo, I want them to dare to be different. Question everything, have their own opinions and sometimes question authority. Maybe I am weird? I feel like my kids are destined for absolute greatness, not hum-drum normalcy. I probably would have pulled Aurora out by now, except for the time being she loves it. I don't love the tired induced outbursts or some of the things she is coming home saying. I am trying to take a chill pill and give it some more time. But how long do I wait until this feels right? When do I know that the feeling I am having is not just me, it is a push from someone greater than me? I tend to be very emotional and have been known to make some brash decision based on emotion, not on reality. So I am kind of in limbo, trying to wait this feeling out. Waiting for any sign from my daughter that this isn't a good fit.
Meanwhile the boys and I started regular preschool time this week. We are having fun and it feels right. They are really smart, but they are boys, so we can only do so much before someone rather wrestle or get up and dance. :) Trying a laid back approach and trying to make it fun. So far so good. It is a little different teaching 2 kiddos at one time. They go at different paces and definitely have different learning techniques. Trevor is slow and methodical. Wyatt is fast and sloppy. I think it will help me learn about them as individuals and help me relate to them more.
Being a stay-at-home Mom can be stressful and nerve-wracking but I wouldn't trade this time for anything in the world! I am super blessed that I have been able to stay at home. I watch the kids at Aurora's school and I can tell a difference in the kids that have parent involvement, even if it is one parent. Kids are like flowers, they need healthy food, clean water, sunlight and love to grow up strong. I am just praying really hard that my flowers don't wither or stop growing. Russ and I are trying to do our best and trying to make the right decisions for our kids but only time will tell if our "best" was good enough.
Three things will last forever--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
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