Traveling To Texas

We dropped the kids off at their grandparents house and headed for the airport.  I had been joking around that I was going to get molested at the airport and guess what, I did.  We checked in and went to the security line.  We took our shoes off, pulled out all our liquids, emptied our pockets and stepped into a machine that I am certain gave me a lethal dose of radiation.  Russ passed through, no problems.  I on the other hand had 4 "areas" come up on my scan, which the kind lady informed me that I won a complete pat-down.  She had to call over her walkie while she made sure I didn't make a run for it.  They escorted me to my luggage and took me to another area.  I had to stand on some sort of mat, spread my arms out and she proceeded to tell me what area she was going to "pat" before she did it.  Then as if that wasn't enough, she had to take a swab of her gloves and put in to some machine.  Luckily, I passed the test.  I still have no clue what the four things were that showed up.  I know that 2 of them were the drawstring on my pants.  I think they just wanted to feel me up. :)
We had some Snickers and water and waited patiently to board the plane.  We were in the back of the plane, so we had to load last.  Which I don't get, because it seems like it would go smoother to load the back first and work up, but whatever.  We had really nice flight attendants, at least on the way there.  Flying isn't as glamorous as it once was.  It is now a fit as many people as you can on a flight, get on , get off sort of thing.  I remember when they served meals on almost every flight and gave you pillows and blankets.  Now for that service you have to fly first class and even first class isn't very glamorous. 
We had some turbulence at the beginning of the flight, which scared me to death.  It was about a 3 1/2hour flight to Dallas.  Even with magazines and good company, it felt like we were on the plane forever.  We finally landed in Dallas and it took about 20 minutes from the time we landed to get to our gate.  I had been using a sweater in the plane, since I am cold all the time.  But as soon as we left the airplane, I knew I wasn't going to need my sweater anymore.  It was hot and sticky and it was 9:30 at night.  It was a great welcome to Texas.  :) 
Carol was waiting for us at the bag claim and we started our adventure.  Our first stop was Red Robin.  We tried out their gluten free buns, which are a little small and a little dry, but actually don't taste that bad.  I think I would prefer just to eat it without the bun though.  After our delicious meal, we headed to Carol's place, to get some much needed sleep for our busy day ahead..

Good Grief

It's been awhile since Russ has had to feel the pain of death.  My heart is broken for him.  The kids, especially Aurora picked up on it right away.  She kept asking him why he was crying, even though she knew the answer.  "Boys don't cry."  was her response.  And traditionally boys don't cry, I'm not quite sure why because a good cry always makes you feel better.  But when they do, it is usually a doozy.  I can still see my Dad collapsing and sobbing uncontrollably after he got the call his Mom had passed away.  It wasn't his finest moment, but in that moment I saw a glimpse of his heart.  I was only 9 at the time, but it will probably stick with me forever. 
It doesn't matter how old or how expected someone's death is, it still hurts the same. While there is joy of a reunion in heaven, it doesn't numb the pain felt here on earth.  It does "get better" but it never goes away. 
I felt helpless trying to comfort my husband.  When he said "all my friends are dying," my heart broke clean in two. I suggested that he stay home and process the whole situation, but of course he refused.  His schedule next week is a little messed up because of our upcoming trip to Texas and he only gets 24 hours of paid bereavement time.  He said that we couldn't afford to take unpaid time, but I'm pretty sure we can't afford to have him not grieve properly.  So of course after 2 days of little sleep and a lot of stress, he got up at 4:30 and headed off to work.  I've never had to help my husband through grief in the almost 13 years we have been together.  So this is uncharted territory for me. Prayers are always appreciated.

When I Get Where I'm Going

Russ' Grandma is on her way home.  She is a beautiful, precious soul and I am honored to be part of her amazing family!  When I first started dating Russ he always had to explain the family tree to me, there are so many branches!  I thought Grandma was absolutely crazy for having six kids and now that I have had four of my own, I still think she was crazy! :)  But I think she was truly a saint for raising 6 kids and the fruitfulness of her family just proves what a wonderful lady she is.  She raised some pretty amazing kids, who in turn raised some pretty amazing kids, who have raised some pretty amazing kids.  And I have no doubt that her great-grandkids will raise some amazing kids as well.  She had a part in shaping Russ in to the man he is and he has nothing but fond memories of his time with her.  He was honored to be her first Grandson, something he wears as a badge of honor. My heart aches for the family during this difficult time, but I am comforted by the fact that she will finally be home with Jesus and she will be reunited with Grandpa Skogan.  They gave the gift of the Lord to their kids, so I can only imagine the crazy family reunion in heaven.  Hopefully Jesus made her an extra big mansion, she will definitely need it! :)

I chose this song because she told Russ that he looked like Brad Paisley and it just seems fitting.

 Grandma Skogan this isn't goodbye, this is a see you later! We love you!

Remember When

I love this song and even though I am only 29, I can still "remember when" with the best of them. :) Life moves pretty fast and you really don't realize it while you are in the moment, but once you look back on your life you often wonder where time has gone.  I remember bringing the twins home from the hospital like it was yesterday and now they are going to be 4 years old next month! The best part of "remembering when" is the joy, love, happiness you get from these memories.  You don't remember the worry, anxiety or stress of those moments.  My mind has conveniently blocked out all memory of raising 4 babies at once.  I seriously have no recollection of how I survived each day.  The only memory I really have of that stressful time is feeding one baby while I used my foot to rock the other in their chair and Aurora happily playing off in the distance. Even though I referred to it as a "stressful time"  that certain memory only brings me complete joy.

Bad things happen, but God has given us the gift of memory.  We can recall the good times and even the bad, embarrassing or downright stupid, but even those memories usually bring laughter and joy.  Memories also bring families closer together.  They give you something to talk about, they give you a glimpse into your history. Memories are a comfort in time of sadness.  They don't take the pain away, but they make it a little more bearable.  Memories are a beautiful, wonderful thing.  I wouldn't trade mine for all the money in the world! The best advice I could give anyone is to cherish your time here on earth, make happy memories with your family and cling to the Lord. A good memory is the best investment you can make.  So go make some memories, reminisce on some old ones, cry, laugh and treasure your time.


"A life-long blessing for children is to fill them with warm memories of times together. Happy memories become treasures in the heart to pull out on the tough days of adulthood." Charlotte Davis Kasl