Sucker Punch

I slept horribly last night.  Tossing, turning, waking often.  I would wake from a light sleep and then remember what happened and be overcome by complete sadness.  The Seahawks lost in one of the most heartbreaking games I have ever seen.  It's not really the loss that sucks, it is the way that they lost. It was a big sucker punch to the gut.  Add to that all the horrible news Russ and I have been getting the last couple of days and you are left with two very depressed people. February and March are already pretty sad times for me, with the pain of losing my sister and her birthday and death anniversary. We have been dealt quite a few blows. It feels like our foundation is crumbling and soon we will be at the bottom of the hill in one big debris pile. :(  The only hope I can hold on to is that in 63 days, the Mariners start playing.  Right now we can only take 1 day at a time and pray for the best outcome.
God has been preparing me for some of these crises, so it hasn't hit me so hard.  The old Autumn would be wrecked right now (cue Miley song) but the new Autumn is holding it together, for now. I have no other choice but to be strong for my husband.  That is not to say that I am not scared for what is to come. *sigh. I am trying to stay still as the ebb and flows of life toss us around. Just one word left to say: pray.

Press On

 2014 was a year of big transformation for me.  I became a stronger person.  I found my voice and I can say no. I am not a prisoner of others actions and thoughts.  As a result of this, I have stronger relationships and the relationship with myself is greatly improved.  My self esteem is slowly being restored. I will not go back.  I refuse to let people or emotions control me.  I am choosing to press on!

For 2015 I want:

More Love
More Fun
More Laughter
More Dancing
More Hugs
More Mariner wins
More thankfulness
Less anxiety
Less politics
Less selfish people
Less stress

I hope everyone has a great 2015! 


My theme song for this year:




Lyrics:

Sometimes this world starts breaking me down
I get so lost I think I’ll never be found
And there are moments of fear and doubt
Even the best fall to the ground

I am a mess, I am a wrecking ball
I must confess that I still don’t get it all
Lord I believe that all Your words are true
Doesn’t matter where I’m going if I’m going with You
I press on, I press on, I press on
When I still don’t get it

I see the world through my jaded eyes
I get frustrated when there is no Why
I put my focus on worthless things
Even the strong fall to their knees
God only knows what we all need

I am a mess, I am a wrecking ball

I must confess that I still don’t get it all
Lord I believe that all your words are true
Doesn’t matter where I’m going if I’m going with You
I press on, I press on, I press on
When I still don’t get it

Life goes on, life goes on
But Your love will prove
All I need, all I need
I will find in You
Life goes on, life goes on
But Your love will prove
All I need, all I need
I will find in You
I press on

I am a mess, I am a wrecking ball
I must confess that I still don’t get it all
Lord I believe that all Your words are true
Doesn’t matter where I’m going if I’m going with You
I press on, I press on
I press on, I press on
When I still don’t get it

Life goes on, life goes on
But Your love will prove
All I need, all I need
I will find in You
Life goes on, life goes on
But Your love will prove
All I need, all I need
I press on