for debilitating panic attacks. This is the first year that I am having full on panic attacks that feel like I am going to die. I am pretty sure that they are brought on by the Christmas hullabaloo and my ability to not say no and my desire to get the best presents ever. This year everyone has been pretty darn specific on what they want and that just takes the fun out of gift-giving. I feed off of the emotions around me and it draining my life force this year. Greed and selfishness is at an all time high this year. I really can't deal with it properly and then it comes out in physical symptoms. I am taking deep breaths and trying to enjoy my Christmas, but its hard. After Thanksgiving I was on a holiday high, we put our lights up, went to Zoolights and then the present requests came in and boom, Christmas spirit gone. I absolutely love buying presents for people and I don't mind getting suggestions, but some crossed the line this year. My desire to give the best gifts ever is hampered by the fact that we just don't have the funds.
Since everyone else is being specific, I will tell you what I want this Christmas. I have gotten one of my wishes early, the Seahawks will go to the playoffs again this year! Really there is nothing else I want more than a Seahawks Super Bowl victory. So if you can help me out, please do. It will count as my birthday present as well. :) I would also love a Christmas that didn't include the guilt of gift buying. A Christmas where I can pick up a few items for my kids and call it a day. Christmas isn't suppose to bring one extreme anxiety and guilt. I just want peace this year. So if you know which store is having a sale on it, let me know.
Meanwhile I will be taking so many deep breaths I will eventually pass out.
No comments:
Post a Comment