Alone

http://hiddenwithyou.com/2013/11/14/desperate-housewives-no-laughing-matter-why-young-mothers-dont-need-god-they-need-help-2/

The above blog post struck a nerve when I read it.  It was as if I was writing it.  There have been numerous times I cried out for help only to be belittled or laughed at by other mother's.  Instead of being nice and supportive, these people chose to say 'I have it worse, so suck it up.'  I'm not going to lie, I have done it (in my head, never out loud) myself.  Motherhood is not a competition, it is a individual journey and we need to support each other, no matter what.
I have pretty much blocked out most of my memories of the past 7 years.  I have flashbacks here and there and I am literally talking about flashes of memories sparked by stress.  I would probably categorize it as post traumatic stress syndrome.  Instead of enjoying motherhood and thriving, I was merely surviving.  I am still standing, for now.  Looking back on the whole situation I wish that I could have thrived.  I wish that someone, anyone, would have come over and held a baby or two so I could take a shower or just catch my breath. A bum on the street would have sufficed.  I ended many days on my knees crying, sobbing, screaming out to the Lord for help. I do remember those times.  Sobbing uncontrollably on the floor while babies screamed and cried around me.  Not my finest moments.  But it was in those screams that I vowed to be extra helpful when my babies grow up and have babies.  So I am respectfully warning my future son and daughter in laws now.  I will travel to the ends of the earth to make sure my babies don't have to suffer alone.  I will try my best to help my babies not wish that their kids would disappear, or that they could run away.  Heck, I even begged for death.  No one should have to go through that.
I am in no way trying to shame any of our family or friends.  We understand that you have lives and couldn't be bothered by our numerous blessings.  OK, maybe I am a little bitter still, but God is healing my heart day by day.  One day it will be water under the bridge.  As someone who struggled and still struggles daily, I beg anyone that is reading this to take some time out of your busy life and help a Mom. Go fold laundry for an hour, sweep the kitchen floor, bring the kids lunch.  There are a million and one things that you can do to save someone's sanity. Whatever you chose to do, please don't chose to be the one that laughs at and brushes off a silent plea for help.